Smithers MINNEAPOLIS

Fairgrounds Massacre

Shoulder was pretty much fine for all the racing but got sore on the ride home. I get more pussified the more minutes I pedal.

I started the A Race, but I was not A Race material. Got dropped on the 2nd lap. But so did half the field. We rode around in the laughing group, but no one was laughing. Everyone was in the hurt locker (which is stored in a pain cave) like me. The group got smaller and smaller until we were about to be caught by the lead group and the officials pulled us out of the race. We went about 30 of the 60 minutes. Some were embarrassed and dejected to be out, not me. I rode 25 minutes more in that race than I did when I attempted it last year. There were some strong dudes in the laughing group but I am not going to name names. Let’s just say that something like 5 guys finished the race and everyone else was in the laughing group. At the start of the race the MC called me out as being “off the back.” For future reference, there is a difference between being “at the back” and “off the back”. I was not off the back until lap 2. Everyone please take note of this for future reference.

Ped and I agreed that we should stay towards the front of the B race to stay out of trouble and avoid gaps. We both got to the front by the 2nd lap or so. There were still lots of splits and gaps to close. But I felt good. Actually, to be honest, I felt as bad as I did in the A race but I was farther towards the front this time. I was in the lead group when we came around a laughing group who were obviously not aware that they were a laughing group. Instead of realizing that they were in a hurt locker (also stored in a pain cave) they decided that they were fresh and fast enough to jump onto the back of the lead group. Apparently, their bag of courage was empty and they weren’t fresh or fast enough to stay on the back of the lead group. Their inability to stay on the wheel in front of them caused more gaps to open which correspondingly made me sad. They could not close them and I ran out of energy trying to keep the gaps closed. I fought to get back to the leaders but it was a hopeless cause. I made some hurt locker/pain cave faces for a few laps and then I just rode around in the laughing group which pissed off Ped because he was ready to leave. I wanted to get my $$ worth which is still possible to due when riding in the laughing group. I wonder why the laughing group got pulled in the A race but not the B race? The Massacre on Machinery Hill was a mystery to me.

All in all, it was fun timez and well worth the money even though the course had to be edited due to road work and there was a hairpin corner. Some don’t care for hairpins, but I am not going to complain about racing at the Fairgrounds.

I heard some people make cheers for me, that was nice. The MC’s did a great job but they kept talking about me during the B race after I was off the back in the hurt locker. I never saw the devil or the angel. I think the angel was missing due to a dissolved relationship. The guitar ninja was super cool as usual. It’s awesome to hear live guitar during a bike race. It would be nice if someone would sing along some time, and have a tambourine. Registration was SUPER AWESOME! Perfectly executed without any assistance from anyone. The event was chip timed…I am not quite sure what that means to me however. Next week I am totally going to bring a zip tie and put my chip on my front fork like a PRO. Only slaps wear their chip on their sweaty cankle.

Once I got home I ate a turkey sandwich and some Cheez-It crackers…and a yogurt.

Note to individuals who choose to say hello to me over the next few weeks: I am always happy to speak with you but please do not touch my left arm or shoulder. Thanks.